That Is… The bigger question, are you exhausted from trying to be the perfect person for everyone that you come into contact with; at work, at home, at social events, on social media even?
It’s exhausting. Perfectionism, if shouldered too long will break you down. Trying to be everywhere, trying to be everything that people expect of us, trying to be the perfect employee, trying to be the perfect partner, the perfect parent, perfect at everything – it’s draining. Perfection will eat you up and spit you out. And not when you decide, when your body decides. We are human beings not robots. If not recognized or shared with someone, the side effects are negative and the people around you will be impacted by it.
The English Poet, Alexander Pope coined the phrase, “to err is human, to forgive, divine”. In short, we all make mistakes and we should be forgiving ourselves. Forgiving yourself can have a profound positive effect on your physical and mental wellness. As I have discovered.
A Harvard Health article, among several articles in the psychology world, has confirmed that perfectionism causes anxiety. This stems from a lot of things; insecurity, fear of loss, fear of making a mistake, being overly self critical, and fear of not meeting people’s expectations.
How can we recognize and stop this obsession and fear based motivation? The Buddhist approach is to recognize those thoughts; of self doubt, imperfection, and comparing oneself to another, then release those thoughts immediately as to not get entangled into the web of negativity. The premise being, we are not our thoughts. This is a practice so give yourself a chance. Allow yourself to release the negative thoughts that give perfectionism its power.
I found a great blog with more suggestions on how to overcome perfectionism. Again, recognizing that it is a practice.
Some final thoughts to consider. Whether you are trying to make ends meet, job hunting, changing a bad habit, raising children, improving your work ethic; always remind yourself that you don’t have to be perfect. Try to embrace the process of your growth at your pace and at your level of expectation.
In Buddhism, it’s said that compassion begins with the self and resonates to others. I have to admit that I haven’t been perfect with this concept, but I intend to practice. I encourage you to do further research and empower yourself to trust that you are worth the self compassion that you deserve… we all deserve.
Originally posted on 2.11.2020. Revised on 1.26.2021.
Poets Bridge 